Desiring the undesirable
This is not an epiphany, but . . .
Why is it that the biggest hurdles in our lives - the things we most want to avoid if at all possible - are almost always the sources of our greatest pleasure? And conversely, why is it that all too often the things we want most are those things that bring the least fulfillment?
This morning I quarterbacked my first arbitration as plaintiff's attorney. Like law school exams, I wished I could just make a phone call and postpone it a day or two - heck, a week, or a month, or more. I'd rather not do it at all. Why don't these obviously responsible defendants just roll over for me? (Maybe my bar number provides an answer to that question.) Like law school exams, though, I couldn't get out of it. Someday I'll do my first jury trial, and I'm sure I'll feel the same way. It's that feeling that I don't want to ever handle another litigation file. It's that not-so-euphoric experience of desiring to go jump off a bridge. A really, really, really tall one.
While the arbitrator's award isn't in yet, I feel really great about the way it went. Not so much because I think my client will get everything he wants as because I did a good job, stayed calm, and felt on top of the game. Which is exactly what it is - a game. Sure, people's lives are significantly affected by it, but it's still a game. It's not life. Christ is life. It's not reality in the ultimate sense. It has no eternal significance. So, it's a game. Opposing counsel, G. Russell Clark from Kenney & Markowitz, a big-time San Francisco aviation firm, is a little like the legal equivalent of Kobe Bryant; kinda shady, but not a bad player. Taking him on wasn't half as bad as I expected, though.
But back to my premise. Now that the arbitration is over, I feel like litigation, arbitration, mediation, trial - whatever comes my way - I'm ready for it - and I want the challenge.
It's those daunting things in life that, when we deny our base desires to avoid them, and confront them head on, bring the greatest sense of achievement, fulfillment, pleasure. It's those simple things like going to the gym, tackling a new hike, accepting criticism, daring heartbreak. And it's denying those things we desire - I doubt Carl's Jr. or Burger King would agree with me on that point, but that's okay. :) It's in denying the sinful urges to follow the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life - denying the urge to make myself "happy" - that brings true happiness.
So, push yourself past that last boundary. Ride the biggest rollercoaster you can find. Skip that next piece of cake. Take up your cross and follow Him down that path of certain uncertainty. It'll be retrospectively one of the greatest things you've ever done.
There's the paradox. Doing what we don't want is more enjoyable than doing what we do. And for all my bloviating on the matter, I cannot even offer a postulation as to why. Naturally, any postulations from my readership are hereby solicited. :)
-Jonathan
"There exists in the economy and course of nature, an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness; between duty and advantage; between the genuine maxims of an honest and magnanimous policy, and the solid rewards of public prosperity and felicity; since we ought to be no less persuaded that the propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right, which Heaven itself has ordained." --George Washington
Why is it that the biggest hurdles in our lives - the things we most want to avoid if at all possible - are almost always the sources of our greatest pleasure? And conversely, why is it that all too often the things we want most are those things that bring the least fulfillment?
This morning I quarterbacked my first arbitration as plaintiff's attorney. Like law school exams, I wished I could just make a phone call and postpone it a day or two - heck, a week, or a month, or more. I'd rather not do it at all. Why don't these obviously responsible defendants just roll over for me? (Maybe my bar number provides an answer to that question.) Like law school exams, though, I couldn't get out of it. Someday I'll do my first jury trial, and I'm sure I'll feel the same way. It's that feeling that I don't want to ever handle another litigation file. It's that not-so-euphoric experience of desiring to go jump off a bridge. A really, really, really tall one.
While the arbitrator's award isn't in yet, I feel really great about the way it went. Not so much because I think my client will get everything he wants as because I did a good job, stayed calm, and felt on top of the game. Which is exactly what it is - a game. Sure, people's lives are significantly affected by it, but it's still a game. It's not life. Christ is life. It's not reality in the ultimate sense. It has no eternal significance. So, it's a game. Opposing counsel, G. Russell Clark from Kenney & Markowitz, a big-time San Francisco aviation firm, is a little like the legal equivalent of Kobe Bryant; kinda shady, but not a bad player. Taking him on wasn't half as bad as I expected, though.
But back to my premise. Now that the arbitration is over, I feel like litigation, arbitration, mediation, trial - whatever comes my way - I'm ready for it - and I want the challenge.
It's those daunting things in life that, when we deny our base desires to avoid them, and confront them head on, bring the greatest sense of achievement, fulfillment, pleasure. It's those simple things like going to the gym, tackling a new hike, accepting criticism, daring heartbreak. And it's denying those things we desire - I doubt Carl's Jr. or Burger King would agree with me on that point, but that's okay. :) It's in denying the sinful urges to follow the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life - denying the urge to make myself "happy" - that brings true happiness.
So, push yourself past that last boundary. Ride the biggest rollercoaster you can find. Skip that next piece of cake. Take up your cross and follow Him down that path of certain uncertainty. It'll be retrospectively one of the greatest things you've ever done.
There's the paradox. Doing what we don't want is more enjoyable than doing what we do. And for all my bloviating on the matter, I cannot even offer a postulation as to why. Naturally, any postulations from my readership are hereby solicited. :)
-Jonathan
"There exists in the economy and course of nature, an indissoluble union between virtue and happiness; between duty and advantage; between the genuine maxims of an honest and magnanimous policy, and the solid rewards of public prosperity and felicity; since we ought to be no less persuaded that the propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right, which Heaven itself has ordained." --George Washington
posted by jph | 5:11 PM
1 Comments:
Challenging thoughts! It all seemed possible until I got to the part that said, "skip that next piece of cake." As I reflect on the life of Christ and how He denied His will and accepted the will of the Father in order that we might be able to have a relationship with Him, the benefits weren't reaped until after His death and resurrection. In like manner, we may not receive true enjoyment of denying ourselves until we've reached paradise. Often times, we'll do something: reject our fleshly cries or commit to a difficult task or calling; The process may be painfully difficult, but in the midst, God gives the grace to overcome it and grants us peace in knowing that we are being obedient to Him. The truest, most "tangible" reward, which we should be putting our hope in, will not be attained until we see our Savior. I look forward to the day when He embraces me with pleasure and says, "Well done my good and faithful servant."
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